Sigh


Okay, I’ve already posted something today, but I’m extremely depressed right now, so I need something to distract me. I haven’t posted a poem in a while, so I guess that’s what I’ll do. This poem is a very rough draft, so please no hate, but any ideas and what not would be appreciated. the poem is called Soar.

Soar

I am a bird

Don’t cage me,

Clip my wings,

Cut my beak

So I can’t sing

Broken winged

I fight

For my life

For my right

To take flight

To one day join my flock

To stop the clock

Because I don’t have time

I don’t have freedom

I have wonder

My feathers black and dull

Are as beautiful as my chime

The tune I croon

Bittersweet and sorrowful

Cry till I smile

Sing till I drop

Wake and sleep

Sleep and wake

Until I just sleep

When my wing heals

And I find flight

No one can stop me

From facing judgement

Today

Tomorrow

What is time to me

But wasted

Wasted on you

Wasted on the meaningless beauty

That we praise

 Wasted on the silky oil

Consuming me

Whispering how

I can’t change

How I don’t fit

In the silver box

My friends worship

And my foes reside

Where I live I wake to water

Clear and pure

Gentle hands cleansing

My wounded heart

With its wobbling beat

Barely pumping

In its wake

The liquid crystal leaves me

The real me

Black veil pulled back

Camouflaged in color

Shattered in pieces

But breathing

Broken

But beautiful

Maybe its not today

Maybe I have time

Just look how I shine

In this moment

I am timeless

I’ll never go out of style

So I guess I’ll stay

But only for a while

I’ve got other places to be

Alright, that’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed this poem. Bye.

-adviceateleven

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Okay, I’m going to put myself out there. Close my eyes and really take a leap of faith. What I’m going to do could either be steroids to my confidence or be another wrecking ball hurtling towards the torn and shredded self esteem left in me. Alright so I’m being a wee bit melo-dramatic. All I’m really going to do is add tags to my posts. I hope that by adding tags, my blog posts will pop up on like search engines and what not. You know you type in, tags, and there this post is.

Anyways, I’m in a good mood. It may be late at night, I may be surrounded by crumpled and crushed kleenex due to my allergies to who knows what, and yeah I may have just been bawling my eyes out (no doubt I’ll be paying for that when I wake up with red, puffy eyes). However I have not let the current circumstances put a damper on my mood. Yup, it’s all sunshine, unicorns, and pretty music. (Plus I still got my sense of humor!!) So due to my blissful temperament I’m going to update you guys on the good in my life at the moment.

So, the sunshine I would say is this song I’ve been listening to. It also happeneds to be the cause of my uncontrollable crying. This song is pretty old, but regardless of its age I intend to learn how to sing this song, and I have been practicing for days. Lovely by Sara Haze is this song that I am head over heels for. Its meaning is simply put yet beautifully said with a cascading voice and soft piano tones. I’m absolutely enchanted by this song.

Next, the unicorns. Which would also be yet another reason for my tears. I’m starting some summer acting classes at a collage close by. I’m so excited, yet it means I will have to give up time well spent with my friends. Also, the next week I’m going to a sleep away camp. No phone, computer, or friends.

Ah the pretty music (I guess this one should be the song but whatever, it’s my blog I do what I want haha). The pretty music would have to be Luke. He makes me happy and he happens to be the reason the bawling stopped. Who would have thought one smile he put on my face could turn around my night completely?? I sure didn’t. I don’t know how he does it, he makes my heart feel like it’s having helium pumped into it and any second my body will join my head in the clouds. Of course it isn’t always picnics on cloud nine. Every once in a blue moon we disagree, and we get depressed, and I fear he will realize that there’s no way in this universe I will ever be good enough for him. How he puts up with me, is a mystery I’ll probably never solve, and one I don’t think I want to solve.

Dang, do I sound like a lovesick puppy or what???????? Actually can I be a lovesick kitten?? I think they’re cuter haha. (I’m kinda hoping he doesn’t read this post…. I sound so girly and eh needy, ehhhh my good mood’s gone I’m seriously considering deleting this entire post and just crying again. No, I said I would put myself out there, well world here I am) Okay so now that my pep talk to myself is over I will get to the meaning of this post. Basically there’s so much freaking bad in this world of ours. Crying, allergies, divorce, poverty, starvation, death. But man, just look at the wondrous good as well. Music, education, a smile when it seems as though you’ll never experience anything other than a frown ever again. Yeah, there’s a heck of a lot of bad, but the good is worth sticking around for, trust me.

-adviceateleven ❤