Putting Myself Out There


So I’m doing just as the title states. I’m going to put myself out there. I’m going to do this by applying to the Young Writer’s Conference. I’m not going to say where that is, but it’s at a college. What is it?? It’s a three day conference for young writers, hence the name haha. Basically there will be a ton of very accomplished writers there who are just dying to share their wealth of knowledge and advice with youngsters like myself. There will also be things like open mics, poetry slams, short story readings, and so on. I would stay in a dorm and attend seminars and workshops on poetry. However, and this is the whole putting myself out there part, I’m only applying to go. I had to send in an original poem of mine for them to judge and decide whether or not I can attend this event. This is a huge step for me. The last time that anyone was judging my poetry was two years ago at my last poetry slam. since then I’ve written a ton more poems, and I’ve changed my style quite a bit. I’m so nervous for this, and I’ve been going back and forth as to whether or not I should even apply, nevertheless, today my application was sent out. The last day that they except applications is February 17 (hence my milestone entitled Deadline), so I won’t know for quite a while if I got in or not. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.

When no one is there for me, poetry is. My notebook readily soaks up my tears, and it never minds if I never end up writing anything. I’ve sat there, pen in hand and static on the paper, hunched over my journal just letting the tears cascade over the contours of my face and onto the pale pages. I’ve heard the small noise of my own raindrops hitting the paper and blurring the azure lines that embrace me. In this fragile state my mind fills with white noise, but my diary never minds that no words stain the pages after I’m done. And when the hum clears, and the poetry pushes its way out of me, my notebook doesn’t complain when I press to hard, or my penmanship gets too sloppy. Poetry has always comforted me. It’s ironic how I can’t find the words to accurately describe how writing heals me.

So I hope that shows you just how important this whole thing is to me. This could change something, this could change me. I have an opportunity and for once, I refuse to let this one slip through my fingers. This time I’m going to do everything in my power to capture this opportunity. The only thing is that I’ve already done that. I’ve already given my 110% When I was editing my poem, when I was practicing my poem, when I still had that application in my hands there was something that I could do. That was me taking every chance I could and pouring myself into my work, but now there’s nothing I can do. I’ve done all that I can do and now it’s up to fate whether or not I’m accepted. That’s why I’m nervous. When it was still my turn to do all that I could I was fine because it was still up to me. Now, however, I’ve given up the reigns to fate. All I can do now is wait. So wish my luck, and I wish you all the best if luck as well.

-adviceateleven

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Gamers Unite!!


Alrighty, it’s time my blog expands to involve more than just the people like me. I’m talking about the gamers. You’d probably never guess that I’m a gamer, well that would be because I’m not. However, Luke is strongly encouraging me to branch out and call to my inner gamer. Luke (my boyfriend for those of you who don’t know) is a hardcore gamer. He is such a gamer that he has a team of fellow gamers. He’s been trying to recruit me for ever, but I don’t have an Xbox so impossible. Well actually, my step brother just got an Xbox so I guess I somewhat have one now.

Anyway, his team is called ShadowTeam, and if you’re a serious gamer then you should check out his website and maybe join his team.

His team is only for Xbox (sorry those of you who play PlayStation) and I probably won’t explain it well, so I’ll just leave a link for his website towards the end of this post.

This whole branching out thing has got me thinking. My blog is very directed towards writers and shy people and well, the people like me. I don’t have much for gamers or jocks or preps. (Sorry that I’m using stereotypical labels, it’s just easiest.) I believe I need to do something for people who aren’t like me. I’ve toyed with the idea of having other writers, but honestly this is my blog and I wouldn’t feel comfortable having other people write here. I guess the only way for my blog to branch out, is for me to branch out. I should start writing things for other types of people, and to do so I need to start getting out of my comfort zone.

I don’t know, I’m starting to think this idea is stupid. Maybe I’ll try it, maybe I won’t. Let me know what you think. Should I try to widen my horizon?? Or should I just stick to what I know?? Who knows what I’ll do, I don’t even know.

Okay, sorry for those gamers who are just itching to check out Luke’s team website. I know I made you read through all of this, but you made it this far so you can wait a little longer. So, in the news of my latest poem (the haiku) it still needs a title people!! Look at my last post, read the poem, think of a title, tell me the title. Should I choose your title as the one I’ll be using, I will write a post all about you and your blog. I will even follow your blog. If you have no blog then I will just write a post about you and your awesomeness. 

Finally!! Relief for the poor gamers who have waited so very long. Here’s the link.
Oh crap and Luke isn’t his real name, it’s the name I give him on here to protect his and my identities. So if you call him Luke and he has no clue what you’re talking about…. sorry haha. Good luck,

http://icestripe2398.wix.com/shadowteam

-adviceateleven

Sorry


I ended up going camping, it was all I expected it to be. But no sad news, I want to keep it positive. I really need to write a new poem. And I’m so behind in writing my novel……. wow I’m just so behind. Maybe when s***** starts I’ll get back into the swing of things. (s***** is school but during summer I consider that word a swear word haha). Anyways, I need new ideas for a poem, anyone got anything?? I’d love to hear your ideas. If you have read my earlier poems you should know my style. I don’t really do funny poems because I suck at it haha, I’ve never tried a love poem but I could, I’ve done plenty of depressing inspiring poems so I’m good at that. 
Anywayys, I suppose I should talk a bit about s*****. I’m entering tenth grade and I’m kind of nervous. First of all, I may cross paths with Trevor and lets just say that we aren’t friends…. Then there’s Autum, knowing my luck, we’ll be in every class together. I’m also nervous about AP prep. English, I’m so passionate about English stuff but what if I don’t get the teacher I had last year?? Everyone says that if you get Mrs. Develyn then you’re going to be okay, but if you get the other teacher then you have to just drop out…. Also, accelerated Spanish. Again, I’m passionate about Spanish but I’m going to be in a class of eleventh graders, sure I did fin with tenth graders last year but ehhh I’m still nervous and soooo shy. Alrighty, time for the positives as always. Learning!! I love learning haha, I hate the people who ruin classes by not caring though :/ . Also, friends!! I’ve missed my friend soooooo much. And I can get out of this house!! I miss getting dressed up for school each morning. 
Now, if any of you guys would like school advice (or any advice at all) you know what to do. You can email me at adviceateleven@gmail.com or you can leave a comment. I will try to write something new for you guys, I promise.

adviceateleven.

Sigh


Okay, I’ve already posted something today, but I’m extremely depressed right now, so I need something to distract me. I haven’t posted a poem in a while, so I guess that’s what I’ll do. This poem is a very rough draft, so please no hate, but any ideas and what not would be appreciated. the poem is called Soar.

Soar

I am a bird

Don’t cage me,

Clip my wings,

Cut my beak

So I can’t sing

Broken winged

I fight

For my life

For my right

To take flight

To one day join my flock

To stop the clock

Because I don’t have time

I don’t have freedom

I have wonder

My feathers black and dull

Are as beautiful as my chime

The tune I croon

Bittersweet and sorrowful

Cry till I smile

Sing till I drop

Wake and sleep

Sleep and wake

Until I just sleep

When my wing heals

And I find flight

No one can stop me

From facing judgement

Today

Tomorrow

What is time to me

But wasted

Wasted on you

Wasted on the meaningless beauty

That we praise

 Wasted on the silky oil

Consuming me

Whispering how

I can’t change

How I don’t fit

In the silver box

My friends worship

And my foes reside

Where I live I wake to water

Clear and pure

Gentle hands cleansing

My wounded heart

With its wobbling beat

Barely pumping

In its wake

The liquid crystal leaves me

The real me

Black veil pulled back

Camouflaged in color

Shattered in pieces

But breathing

Broken

But beautiful

Maybe its not today

Maybe I have time

Just look how I shine

In this moment

I am timeless

I’ll never go out of style

So I guess I’ll stay

But only for a while

I’ve got other places to be

Alright, that’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed this poem. Bye.

-adviceateleven