COMPUTERS SUCK


I am still having technical issues 😥 I am sooooo sorry, I do love you guys but computers don’t love me. Anyways, Renne and Justin still aren’t together, but it’s a working process. Also, I’m in a new play!! I’m not going to say what play, however it is one that isn’t just kids and teens. This is a serious play with adults (I’m the youngest cast member!!) Today is my first rehearsal, wish me luck. I know two people in the play, a Russian boy (he’s here in America on a foreign exchange program) and my wifey (in another play I played a boy and she was my wife) other than that I don’t really know anyone :/ I’m nervous, but I’m sure I will be fine…. I hope. Alrighty, update on Luke time. He is still the cutest and best boyfriend ever, but DRAMA. A girl (my good friend Cassie) told him that he turns her on…….. yeah, needles to say she isn’t much of a good friend…. But, I don’t want to make things awkward, she doesn’t know that I know that she said that, and Luke told her that it made him feel uncomfortable and she shouldn’t say things like that because he’s in a committed relationship…… and I didn’t tell him to say that…… yepp perfect boyfriend ❤ Also, she apologized to him, and I think I’m just going to appease her for now, and see how things go. I may/may not regret this decision later, but such is life.

Okay, now I’ve just done what I normally do, given you an update, and then a problem and what I’m going to do to solve it (Hopefully you learn from my life) However, maybe some of you don’t care about Renne and Justin, or you absolutely love to hear about Luke. Basically, I want to know who you want to hear about. I can do a whole post about them and maybe you’ll like it haha. So go through my posts and find someone that you want a full, full, full update on. Maybe you want to know what happened to Connie, or Rebecca, or Trevor (ew). I could also introduce you to someone new, the possibilities are endless. In fact, there are two people I could introduce you to, you can choose from either Tara or Christian. So come on, pick someone, majority rules.

-adviceateleven ❤

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My Apologies


Heyyyyy, I am so sorry. I haven’t been on in months, but I have an excuse. My laptop died. I’m on my stepdads computer and i’m being all secretive, I can not have my parents find this blog. Anywaysssss on to happier stuff. I’ve finally found friends to sit with at lunch, yepp I’m that cool sophomore sitting with two seniors and a junior 🙂 They’re hipsters in denial though, they refuse to sit in the upperclassmen lunch room, because it’s stupid and everyone sits there. So yay for me!! Me and the junior, Abbey, are trying to get the seniors, Renne and Justin, together. They are perfect together. End of story, it is meant to be. She’s had a crush on him for 4 years, and it’s obvious he likes her. Our goal is to get them together by prom. He absolutely refuses to go to prom……. wish me luck haha. Omigosh for Christmas I got him the best gift. I made something really awesome for Abbey, and for Renne I got her a quote book that she loves, but I had no clue what to get Justin. He loves Pink Floyd, and when he’s upset he draws a brick wall, and adds a brick every time. So I got my dad to draw a brick, and I gave him that. He, loved, it. Like a lot, I thought he might throw it out, but he actually put it in a folder, and hung it in his locker. The kid loves his brick xD 

Okay now for an update on my guy. Luke, is, the, best, boyfriend, ever. He is so cute, and he’s extremely considerate. My last boyfriend, Trevor, said a whole bunch of nice words to me. It felt like a dream when he told me such beautiful words, but actions speak louder than words. He was controlling, childish, and disrespectful. However, Luke doesn’t have flowery words, he looks me in the eyes, he holds my hand tight and takes as long s possible when he has to let go, Luke holds me when I cry, he tries to understand when I’m sad. He doesn’t realize how much he means to me, or how much his actions effect me, and sometimes he gets depressed, and then I get depressed. He’s different in the best way, and he makes me happy.

Alrighty, now it is time for me to take my leave. See you soon!!

Gamers Unite!!


Alrighty, it’s time my blog expands to involve more than just the people like me. I’m talking about the gamers. You’d probably never guess that I’m a gamer, well that would be because I’m not. However, Luke is strongly encouraging me to branch out and call to my inner gamer. Luke (my boyfriend for those of you who don’t know) is a hardcore gamer. He is such a gamer that he has a team of fellow gamers. He’s been trying to recruit me for ever, but I don’t have an Xbox so impossible. Well actually, my step brother just got an Xbox so I guess I somewhat have one now.

Anyway, his team is called ShadowTeam, and if you’re a serious gamer then you should check out his website and maybe join his team.

His team is only for Xbox (sorry those of you who play PlayStation) and I probably won’t explain it well, so I’ll just leave a link for his website towards the end of this post.

This whole branching out thing has got me thinking. My blog is very directed towards writers and shy people and well, the people like me. I don’t have much for gamers or jocks or preps. (Sorry that I’m using stereotypical labels, it’s just easiest.) I believe I need to do something for people who aren’t like me. I’ve toyed with the idea of having other writers, but honestly this is my blog and I wouldn’t feel comfortable having other people write here. I guess the only way for my blog to branch out, is for me to branch out. I should start writing things for other types of people, and to do so I need to start getting out of my comfort zone.

I don’t know, I’m starting to think this idea is stupid. Maybe I’ll try it, maybe I won’t. Let me know what you think. Should I try to widen my horizon?? Or should I just stick to what I know?? Who knows what I’ll do, I don’t even know.

Okay, sorry for those gamers who are just itching to check out Luke’s team website. I know I made you read through all of this, but you made it this far so you can wait a little longer. So, in the news of my latest poem (the haiku) it still needs a title people!! Look at my last post, read the poem, think of a title, tell me the title. Should I choose your title as the one I’ll be using, I will write a post all about you and your blog. I will even follow your blog. If you have no blog then I will just write a post about you and your awesomeness. 

Finally!! Relief for the poor gamers who have waited so very long. Here’s the link.
Oh crap and Luke isn’t his real name, it’s the name I give him on here to protect his and my identities. So if you call him Luke and he has no clue what you’re talking about…. sorry haha. Good luck,

http://icestripe2398.wix.com/shadowteam

-adviceateleven

No Title


Sometimes life just sucks. At the moment my milestone thing says that I will be going camping tomorrow, well it’s wrong. I didn’t really want to go camping in the first place. DOn’t get me wrong here, I love camping, but honestly, my brothers would’ve been off riding there bikes the whole time, my dad and stepmum would’ve done their own thing, and then I’d be left all alone. (Like always). Well tomorrow I have an orthodontist appointment and Wednesday I have voice lessons. My dad made the ortho appointment so he admitted that it was his fault he forgot. However, my voice lessons have been scheduled for three months and I’ve only known about the camping trip for two weeks. My dad says that he has no way to get me to the voice lessons and I should just miss them. Lessons are $60, I can’t reschedule and no refunds. My dad thinks that he can just talk to my teacher and she will understand. However me and my mum have a contract with her and we both know that she does not need to be involved in this and that she will tell my father that we can not reschedule. My father is too freaking pig headed to either understand that I can’t go camping with him or to just leave the campground for two hours to drive and get me then drive back.
He’s not the greatest father, but to be honest my mother isn’t the greatest either. Sigh, it may be a dysfunctional family but I guess It’s my dysfunctional family. Well before I cry or something worse I have to stop thinking about this. I’ve already pulled out some of my hair….. Man sometimes I feel so broken, so messed up. I’m a healthy 14 year old girl with trichotillomania, a tremor in my right hand, chronic migranes, panic and anxiety attacks. Not to mention How often I’m depressed. I guess it could be a good thing that I’m so messed up, because of it I want to help people. I want to make sure people don’t end up like me, broken because of something that they can’t control.

I guess this post is going to be another one about depression. The last time I talked about depression (the post started out with the quote “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go”)  I told you guys that I have trichotillomania, and while it’s a disease it’s also a form of self hurt. What I didn’t tell you is that pulling my hair out isn’t the only thing I’ve done. I’ve snapped rubber bands on my wrist until I bled, I gave myself friction burns that would last for days, I’ve starved myself just to feel like I was wasting away, I’ve even dehydrated myself just for the fun of it. Oh yeah and I’ve done my fair share of cutting. No one ever noticed when I did these things to myself. Eventually I told Luke, he helped me stop. Now there is a point to this story, I don’t want you guys to feel bad for me or anything, I just want you to have living, breathing proof that you can overcome anything. I’m still not ready to share what has made me do all those terrible things, but it doesn’t matter. I used to think I had reasons to do that. I thought that my life sucked enough that I had permission to hurt myself. No matter what you’re going through, it’s not okay nor does it help, to harm yourself. There is nothing that you could go through that would make it okay to hurt yourself. Honestly, once you start doing all those things the little things become “bad” enough to hurt yourself. Like at first maybe you say you’re only going to cut this one time because you were picked on today, but then you get picked on again, so you cut again. Eventually, you get so used to running back to the blade that little things seem like they are bad enough to cut over. But nothing is actually bad enough to self harm over. Basic moral of all this, is that self harm just isn’t worth it. There is no reason you should be dragging a knife across your wrist, or sticking your hand in the flames, or skipping meals, or “forgetting” to drink anything that day so you can feel dizzy. You get the point by now I hope, if not, message me. I set up an email for this thing (adviceateleven.gmail.com). And just a reminder, I love you guys
-adviceateleven ❤

Camp


Alright guys, this is it. I’m going to sleep away camp and I won’t be able to blog for some time. I’ll be gone at camp for a week, then I come home for 2 days, (So maybe I’ll blog then) and lastly I’m going camping for a week with my dad…… yeah wish me luck. 

Okay so lately I’ve been going into chat rooms and mentioning my blog, people seem to like it so far. I really want to get the word out about this blog, it’s so important to me. I’ve gained a few followers and omigosh that’s so cool haha. (To all my followers you guys are like the best people on this planet) Yeah I sound a little desperate but haha who cares?? 

In other news (this is long overdue) I just wanted to announce that Luke and I are dating. He is my best friend and my boyfriend and I’m so lucky to have him. I never want to lose him even if we end up just being friends. (but I hope we always stay more than friends haha) 

Anyways, I gotta go, I love you guys!!!! Stay awesome,

-adviceateleven