An Awesome Blog


In the header of my blog it says “an awesome blog” which bugs me. In the beginning days of this blog I didn’t use correct spelling or grammar. Now I want to be an English teacher one day. Ironic right?? Also, I had a bit more confidence back then. I thought that this blog would be awesome, now I’m not so sure. I wouldn’t call my blog awesome because that implies that it’s perfect and amazing. To be truthful, this blog is flawed. I make mistakes, not everyone can always relate to everything, I use a pseudonym. So I would not dare call this an awesome blog anymore. I wish that I could figure out how to change it because I want it to say “Adviceateleven, A Real Blog.” I tell you guys the truth (save for identities). I mean if you guys knew Trevor’s real name you’d probably find him and kill him. Which would be bad because then one of my incredible followers would be in jail and that would make me sad XD Anyway, this isn’t an awesome blog, it’s a real blog. This is a real blog that I pour my heart and soul into, and I hope that you guys appreciate it. I love you all (I haven’t reminded you guys how cool you are in a while so I’m doing that now). Goodbye until my next post, if that happens to be after Christmas, happy holidays to you all 🙂

-adviceateleven ❤

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No Title


Sometimes life just sucks. At the moment my milestone thing says that I will be going camping tomorrow, well it’s wrong. I didn’t really want to go camping in the first place. DOn’t get me wrong here, I love camping, but honestly, my brothers would’ve been off riding there bikes the whole time, my dad and stepmum would’ve done their own thing, and then I’d be left all alone. (Like always). Well tomorrow I have an orthodontist appointment and Wednesday I have voice lessons. My dad made the ortho appointment so he admitted that it was his fault he forgot. However, my voice lessons have been scheduled for three months and I’ve only known about the camping trip for two weeks. My dad says that he has no way to get me to the voice lessons and I should just miss them. Lessons are $60, I can’t reschedule and no refunds. My dad thinks that he can just talk to my teacher and she will understand. However me and my mum have a contract with her and we both know that she does not need to be involved in this and that she will tell my father that we can not reschedule. My father is too freaking pig headed to either understand that I can’t go camping with him or to just leave the campground for two hours to drive and get me then drive back.
He’s not the greatest father, but to be honest my mother isn’t the greatest either. Sigh, it may be a dysfunctional family but I guess It’s my dysfunctional family. Well before I cry or something worse I have to stop thinking about this. I’ve already pulled out some of my hair….. Man sometimes I feel so broken, so messed up. I’m a healthy 14 year old girl with trichotillomania, a tremor in my right hand, chronic migranes, panic and anxiety attacks. Not to mention How often I’m depressed. I guess it could be a good thing that I’m so messed up, because of it I want to help people. I want to make sure people don’t end up like me, broken because of something that they can’t control.

I guess this post is going to be another one about depression. The last time I talked about depression (the post started out with the quote “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go”)  I told you guys that I have trichotillomania, and while it’s a disease it’s also a form of self hurt. What I didn’t tell you is that pulling my hair out isn’t the only thing I’ve done. I’ve snapped rubber bands on my wrist until I bled, I gave myself friction burns that would last for days, I’ve starved myself just to feel like I was wasting away, I’ve even dehydrated myself just for the fun of it. Oh yeah and I’ve done my fair share of cutting. No one ever noticed when I did these things to myself. Eventually I told Luke, he helped me stop. Now there is a point to this story, I don’t want you guys to feel bad for me or anything, I just want you to have living, breathing proof that you can overcome anything. I’m still not ready to share what has made me do all those terrible things, but it doesn’t matter. I used to think I had reasons to do that. I thought that my life sucked enough that I had permission to hurt myself. No matter what you’re going through, it’s not okay nor does it help, to harm yourself. There is nothing that you could go through that would make it okay to hurt yourself. Honestly, once you start doing all those things the little things become “bad” enough to hurt yourself. Like at first maybe you say you’re only going to cut this one time because you were picked on today, but then you get picked on again, so you cut again. Eventually, you get so used to running back to the blade that little things seem like they are bad enough to cut over. But nothing is actually bad enough to self harm over. Basic moral of all this, is that self harm just isn’t worth it. There is no reason you should be dragging a knife across your wrist, or sticking your hand in the flames, or skipping meals, or “forgetting” to drink anything that day so you can feel dizzy. You get the point by now I hope, if not, message me. I set up an email for this thing (adviceateleven.gmail.com). And just a reminder, I love you guys
-adviceateleven ❤

New Stuff


Okay, I’m going to put myself out there. Close my eyes and really take a leap of faith. What I’m going to do could either be steroids to my confidence or be another wrecking ball hurtling towards the torn and shredded self esteem left in me. Alright so I’m being a wee bit melo-dramatic. All I’m really going to do is add tags to my posts. I hope that by adding tags, my blog posts will pop up on like search engines and what not. You know you type in, tags, and there this post is.

Anyways, I’m in a good mood. It may be late at night, I may be surrounded by crumpled and crushed kleenex due to my allergies to who knows what, and yeah I may have just been bawling my eyes out (no doubt I’ll be paying for that when I wake up with red, puffy eyes). However I have not let the current circumstances put a damper on my mood. Yup, it’s all sunshine, unicorns, and pretty music. (Plus I still got my sense of humor!!) So due to my blissful temperament I’m going to update you guys on the good in my life at the moment.

So, the sunshine I would say is this song I’ve been listening to. It also happeneds to be the cause of my uncontrollable crying. This song is pretty old, but regardless of its age I intend to learn how to sing this song, and I have been practicing for days. Lovely by Sara Haze is this song that I am head over heels for. Its meaning is simply put yet beautifully said with a cascading voice and soft piano tones. I’m absolutely enchanted by this song.

Next, the unicorns. Which would also be yet another reason for my tears. I’m starting some summer acting classes at a collage close by. I’m so excited, yet it means I will have to give up time well spent with my friends. Also, the next week I’m going to a sleep away camp. No phone, computer, or friends.

Ah the pretty music (I guess this one should be the song but whatever, it’s my blog I do what I want haha). The pretty music would have to be Luke. He makes me happy and he happens to be the reason the bawling stopped. Who would have thought one smile he put on my face could turn around my night completely?? I sure didn’t. I don’t know how he does it, he makes my heart feel like it’s having helium pumped into it and any second my body will join my head in the clouds. Of course it isn’t always picnics on cloud nine. Every once in a blue moon we disagree, and we get depressed, and I fear he will realize that there’s no way in this universe I will ever be good enough for him. How he puts up with me, is a mystery I’ll probably never solve, and one I don’t think I want to solve.

Dang, do I sound like a lovesick puppy or what???????? Actually can I be a lovesick kitten?? I think they’re cuter haha. (I’m kinda hoping he doesn’t read this post…. I sound so girly and eh needy, ehhhh my good mood’s gone I’m seriously considering deleting this entire post and just crying again. No, I said I would put myself out there, well world here I am) Okay so now that my pep talk to myself is over I will get to the meaning of this post. Basically there’s so much freaking bad in this world of ours. Crying, allergies, divorce, poverty, starvation, death. But man, just look at the wondrous good as well. Music, education, a smile when it seems as though you’ll never experience anything other than a frown ever again. Yeah, there’s a heck of a lot of bad, but the good is worth sticking around for, trust me.

-adviceateleven ❤